My encounters with the law

Ah yes, I promised you tales of my travails last week- so here is another story about Israeli bureaucracy.

So the big thing on my list right now is transferring my driver's license. As you may remember, I tried to do this before I left for America but the issue date on MD licenses is not the day you originally got your license, but the day you got that specific piece of plastic. This was a problem for me because my issue date was post-aliyah, thanks to that lovely day when I lost my wallet in Tel Aviv. (And you can only transfer a license if you had gotten it before you made aliyah). Anyway, I had to get a paper from the MVA while I was in America that said when I got my original license. It turns out they don't actually put this on your permanent driving record (It is listed as a "change of address") but when I went to the MVA they told me the only way to get that paperwork was for them to pull my original application off of microfilm, which would take longer than I had. 

Anyway, last week I went armed with my license and my MVA paperwork hoping that the English would confuse them enough that I could convince them that my paperwork was sufficient. Unfortunately, I spent so much time worrying about this little piece of paper that I forgot another one- my Teudat Oleh (Immigration certificate.) That was annoying, but fine, I would just go home and get it and go back the next day. So I went home. And I opened my nice orange file thing where I keep all that important stuff- and my teudat oleh was not there. I then ransacked my room, unpacked all of my suitcases, went through the garbage, went into Jerusalem and went through the apartment I had rented for a month, and finally came to the conclusion that I had lost my teudat oleh. Crap.

So I went online to figure out how one goes about getting a new one. It is a two step process (sounds simple, right?): 
1) I have to go to court and testify that I lost it.
2) I have to schedule an appointment with the Ministry of Immigration to get a new one.

Right, okay, go to court. Now, um, where do I find one of those?

Well after a few phone calls and some vague directions I figured out where the courthouse was and even got the required paperwork filled out before I left. So Wednesday morning comes about and I am of course running late getting out of the house. I catch a tremp into Jerusalem and as we enter the city I see the bus I need pull away from the stop. Luckily, the car I am in passes it and lets me out at the next intersection. Unluckily, this is one of those intersections where you have to wait for 5 different lights to cross one street. And more unluckily, when I ran across the red one, I ran right into the police officer waiting to ticket fools like me. And there goes the bus. I am somewhat ashamed to say that I played dumb American to get out of that ticket, Anyway, I finally got on a bus and found the courthouse and I still had about 40 minutes to get to work. Eek. 

At this point, I am standing in the information line behind a woman who simply refuses to move. She is not getting what she wants so she insists on simply standing there until the nice lady who cannot help her, does what she wants. The security guards come and she brushes them off. The other guy in line begs her to just go upstairs like they say, and finally, after what feels like forever, she leaves. I get up to the counter, get sent upstairs, wait in another line, finally get into the office and the lady says to me "This is not where you belong. Why did they send you here?" Really, lady? Like I know why information sent me to you? Im just doing what I am told and trying to get someone to stamp this darn paper because I have to be at work in 15 minutes.

As it turns out, the guy I need was standing right next to the front door. He has a little booth there and I walked right by him. So he's pretty cool, stamps my paper, takes some money, and I manage to walk out of the courthouse 1 minute late for work. Luckily, they are cool and were alright with my showing up 15 minutes late.

Anyway, I am on to step 2 this week. Lets hope it goes well because after that I get to dive back into the Israeli MVA and I am sure that will be a blast.