I'M AN AUNT!!!!!

Who cares what else happened this week? MY SISTER HAD A BABY!!!!!

This Wednesday, August 4th (Barack Obama's birthday), my amazing and wonderful sister, Shoshana, gave birth to my brawny (8.4 lbs!) and beautiful new nephew. And she did it without any drugs. (Setting a really high bar for me, but I think I have some time before I have to worry about that one.)
She is understandably exhausted but headed home from the hospital today with the little one. My fantastic brother-in-law, Ez has been fielding all my questions and endless phonecalls and taking amazing care of my sister. My mom is headed up to NY to join them on Sunday and then everyone but me will be there for the Brit Milah (circumcision) and naming on Wednesday. Oh, lordy, I cant wait to meet him!!!

I got home from base on Wednesday and found an email saying that Shosh had gone into labor. My roommate laughed at me as I ran around the apartment screaming for like five minutes and then sat down and start to worry about them. That wasnt so good for me, but thankfully I had plans to go to the wine festival with my friend Elodie. So we headed over to the Israel Museum, bought a 60 shek wine glass, and then proceeded to be really classy and taste all sorts of fancy Israeli wine. Every 30 minutes or so we would try to check my email on Elodie's phone, but not much was happening and I was getting more and more nervous and excited. (A side point about the nervousness: I understand that childbirth these days is pretty safe, and my sister definitely has the hips for it, but there is still so much that can go wrong! And its painful! And I worry. So thus, the nervousness). Anyway, towards the end of the festival I had tried about 8 different Shiraz's (mmm I love that wine) and an excellent Gerwsomethingorother, and, shall we say, a few other wines, and had just run into some friends who were generously sharing their cheese-sampler plate with me when Elodie checked her phone and yelled "Kfi, theres a mail from your mom!". I, in a totally mannerly in polite way, grabbed the phone from her, opened the mail and proceeded to scream like a 13 year old girl. And jump up and down. Alot. Anyway, as soon as my screams became coherent "OH MY GOD IM AN AUNT MY SISTER HAD A BABY BOY!!!!!", my friends started to jump up and down with me, we all refilled our wineglasses and made everyone in the area l'chaim with us to my new nephew :)
At this point I wanted to get home and call my family, so we headed out, stopping at a few booths for some more l'chaims on the way, and then I practically skipped through the park, calling everyone in Israel and forcing them to l'chaim to my new nephew with me. I would like to put in the disclaimer that those calls WERE NOT drunk dials. I was drunk on happiness, I tell you, HAPPINESS!

Anyway, I am not positively ITCHING to get home, I cannot wait to:
1) meet my new nephew,
2) see my sister and tell her in person how amazing it is that she made a little person,
3) Call my parents "Grampa" and "Bubbe"
4) watch my brother-in-law imitate his offspring's "poop-faces"
5) oh just look at him and hold him and touch his tiny little baby hands and feet and fall absolutely and totally in love with him.

I CANT WAIT TO COME HOME!!!!!

Countdown to Vacation

So I realized I have been kind of lame lately and not really putting so much effort into these posts. I mean, I forgot to mention my birthday! Really? Thats just sad. Anyway, I apologize for that and have taken special time today to try to make this email more exciting and interesting than the past few weeks.

 

We'll start with this past Shabbat, which was a flurry of social activity. Rafi was with me for Shabbat and I hosted another 14 people for dinner. It was loud and hot, but the food was great and the company greater. This theme continued Shabbat day when we went to my friend Jay's and had a giant delicious lunch and hung out there most of the rest of the day.

 

Sunday night was Tu B'Av, the Jewish festival in which young single ladies used to dress up in white dresses and go dancing in the hills so that young single Jewish men could grab them and take them home to be their wives (kinda weird story, but have you ever actually read about St. Valentine?). Today it is treated like the Israeli Valentine's Day. So, in very modern fashion, I went out dancing with my single lady friends (no white dresses- I mean really? Who owns a white dress?). Stayed up way too late and was totally pooped the next day, but it was worth it. Or at least it was until Shachaf started arguing politics with me and I was ganged up on my all the crazy-ass leftists in my office. So I spent most of Monday hiding in the computer room so I wouldnt have to go over ONCE AGAIN, why the disengagement from Gaza clearly didnt work.

 

Anyway, Tuesday I got the super exciting job of updating the airplane manuals (read: going thrugh 20+ binders and replacing random pages), which of course I got to do with Shachaf. This man is apparently not used to going to school, because I managed to do 18 binders in the time it took him to do 4. This may be explained by the fact that he was way to busy complaining about the army and saying things that made me want to strangle him.

 

So, needless to say, by Wednesday I needed a vacation, and since Rafi is leaving on Sunday I took the day off to hang out with him. We were planning on hiking from Jerusalem to the neighboring city of Mevasseret Zion (where our family lived when we were little), but ended up not quite making it. This was due to the fact that we started our hike in Lifta, an arab village in the valley next to Jeruslaem that was abandoned in 1948. Today it is sort of a national park, but they havent renovated or restored anything, and the place is kind of a dump. There is a maayan/pool there where lots of people go to swim, but the part that interested me and Rafi was the old houses. There are dozens of old crumbling Arab houses that were clearly beautiful back in the day. Now they are falling apart and have trees growing in the middle (and in some cases homeless people living there), but Rafi and I spent a great 2-3 hours wandering about and exploring the houses. We couldnt stay too long as I had a wedding that night, but it was enough to get a sunburn and some great pictures (which I will have to attach in the next email).

 

 

Thursday was a half-day so again, Rafi and I hung out (the lazy bum slept until 2PM!!). We headed to Efrat to see my fam and stayed up way too late hanging out with them. We are going to Alon Shvut, the neighboring settlement where my friends David and Davida live and spending Shabbat with them.

I wandered through a forest of miniature trees on pedestals (this is not a metaphor)

I was just looking at the list of people I send this to every week and it made me feel and warm and fuzzy inside to think about how you all want to know what is going on in my life, even when it isnt very exciting. So thanks. 

This weeks highlights included:

1. Me actually doing something in the army.

2. Watching F-16's take off. From 30 ft away.

3. Seeing people I have not seen in a long time.

4. Pancakes.

Number 1- On Tuesday, Lihi (the other english teacher) had a doctor's appointment and needed someone to sub for her. So I got to teach her class (of two) for the day. We covered all the material by lunch time and did Wednesday's test- which they both did well on. Lihi was kind of shocked, which was a little insulting, but not worth starting more teenage drama (which is running rampant these days) in the office.

Number 2- On Monday, we sort of snuck Rafi on to my base, dressed him up in a jumpsuit and let him hang out in my office all day. Everyone was kind of scared to take him too close to the planes (since he wasnt really supposed to be there) until my commander came back to the office, shuffled us into his car, drove us out to the runway and let us watch the planes take off. You could feel the heat from the engines. It was super cool. and loud. but mostly cool. Everyone really liked him and wants me to bring him back to visit again. Abba, if you come visit there would be so many cool things they would let you see!!

Number 3- This week I got to go out to dinner with a friend of mine visiting from America (she even brought me a present!) and went to see Toy Story 3 (SOOOO GOOD) with a friend of mine who lives here, but I never see her anyway. So that was lovely.

Number 4- I had pancakes for breakfast today. It was exciting.

I know, I know, Im ranking pancakes next to F-16's. But I stand by them. These were the highlights of my week and sometimes, all you really need to make your day are some damn fine pancakes.

This week I was that person grocery shopping at 11 pm

This week I did not sleep very much. It just seemed like every night there was some other thing that happened or had to be done that kept me up until 1 am. (Oh, how I miss the days of college when I did not consider that late). Among the things that kept me up late this week were:

1. Work. My new job was very demanding this week as they hosted a "Marriage Meltdown" lecture featuring three speakers discussing sex and money and how to handle those issues as a couple. It was a really interesting event and I really enjoyed it, but it required alot of work from me. It is also abundantly clear to me that this job will be more demanding than I expected, which is something I might be okay with. It is good money and it keeps me busy, and as long as every week isnt as demanding as this one I think I will be able to do it.

2. Birthday One. This week was my father's birthday (everyone feel free to send him birthday emails at covel648@cox.net). I called my father and ended up staying up pretty late walking him and my baby brother through the complex process of making a Duncan Hines cake. I still feel pretty bad that I couldnt be there to help make his birthday dinner, but as my other brother and sister failed at that as well, at least I have some company in feeling guilty. Abba, I love you and hope this year is full of new experiences and chocolate cupcakes (and wonderfully lacking in dog hair and bad drivers).

3. Birthday Two. This week was also my Hebrew birthday (feel free to send me birthday emails in Hebrew). There are many people here who celebrate their Hebrew birthday, and many who stick to the english date. I have found the wonderful compromise of celebrating BOTH and challenge anyone who argues that you cant have more than  one birthday. I think that is just silly. Plus, my english birthday falls out on a fast day and that will just not be any fun. Anyway, I wanted to keep the celebrations simple so I was just going to have birthday dinner with my friend Avital. I went over to her place and had a lovely dinner with her, her sister, and her grandmother and headed home afterward to go to sleep. Little did I know how sneaky and planning Avital is. Briks, remember that time I was an hour and half late for my surprise goodbye party? Yeah, I have not gotten any better at picking up on surprises. Avital had made a cake and sent me home to my apartment where my roommates were waiting with presents and decorations. But, I didnt know this, so I called my friend Noam on the way home and then decided to sit outside in the park and chat with him. I did not understand why Mia kept calling and telling me she needed me to check something on the computer when, as I told her, I was not home. Finally Nechama called me and told me she had locked herself out (which I really shouldnt have believed, because I am the only one ever irresponsible enough to do that) and I came to the entrance of our building where Avital and her sister (who had at this point beaten me home), Mia, Nechama, and her boyfriend Avi jumped out from behind a wall and started singing to me. They had decorated the apartment with balloons and signs and bought me a present (a book of hikes in Israel!!!) and were just absolutely wonderful. It was my first ever birthday surprise :)

4. Idan Raichel. In the continuing thread of birthday celebrations, Rafi and I went to an Idan Raichel concert at the Sultan's Pools outside of the Old City. We got to dance at his concert under the stars, in view of the Old City walls for Jerusalem. It was wonderful.

So all in all, it was all worth the loss of sleep. Thats what Shabbat is for, right?

Army Stories for your Entertainment

"How to Maneuver the Fire Swamp of Medical Bureaucracy"

1- Go to the clinic on base.

2- Be seen by a mostly incompetent medic who then sends you into see the doctor.

3- Be seen by the somewhat more competent doctor who gives you a form and tells you to go get a test.

4- Through luck and perserverence, manage to get through the automated machines that answer your phone call and make an appointment.

5- Cancel appointment because you were put on guard duty.

6- Repeat step 4.

7- Two months later, head to appointment at different base. Learn that this involves walking one mile and that your water bottle is not big enough for adventures in this country.

8- Spend ten minutes wandering through a maze of a building trying to figure out where your appointment is.

9- Find the office 2 minutes before your appointment and go check in at the front desk.

10- Try not to explode when they tell you that you do not have an appointment today.

11- Argue. Plead. Cry.

12- Get seen by the doctor.

13- Go upstairs for the second test. Pray that they wrote down that you have an appointment.

14- Cheer when they confirm your appointment.

15- Discover that it is with the wrong doctor.

16- Argue. Plead. Yell.

17- Get sent into the commanders office.

18- Be told there are no more appointments for months. You must go to a civilian doctor. Here is the number. Get a form from your base.

19- Make an appointment with the civilian doctor.

20- Make an appointment with the doctor on base to get permission to see the civilian doctor.

21- Be told that you cannot see Civilian Doctor A. You can only see Civilian Doctors B, E, and G.

22- Get permission slip and go to front desk for the number for Civilian Doctor B.

23- Get back to your office, call the number and discover it is the wrong one.

24- Call the clinic again and ask for the right number.

25- Be told that they do not have it. Figure it out yourself.

26- Argue. Plead. Yell. Get hung up on.

27- Cry.

28- Attract the attention of the men you work with, who through magical telephone skills, get you the number.

29- Express shock and surprise when you get an appointment for the next week.

30- Write a long rant complaining about the army.

"Fun Day for the Lone Soldiers"

This week I was invited to a "Yom Keif" (Fun Day) for the lone soldiers on base. This meant me, a bunch of Russians, and Shachaf (who works in my office). I tried to stay optimistic despite having to rise at 5:45 am in order to get to base on time for the "Yom Keif". We were showered with baked goods, packed on to a bus, and sent to Ra'anana to spend the day at a country club. The only "country" part of this club were the random chickens wandering around the pool. So we spent the morning chilling by the pool wondering why we didnt just do this on base before being invited to the entertainment portion of our day. Which was a magician. Our "Yom Keif" was basically an 8 year old's birthday party. Which of course, I am not one to complain about. Because I love magic (Ari- I have a new trick for you to master) and I love pools, and they even gave us popsicles. We even got goodie bags (though deoderant and socks are NOT as exciting as candy and noisemakers). What I really missed was the part where your parents pick you up at the end of the party. Because it took me 3 hours to get home from Ra'nana, and after 20 minutes at the first bus stop I was really missing that pool. 

Lighthearted and Happy, as promised

Exciting things that happened to me this past week (and their accompanying awesomeness):

1. My brother Rafi came to Israel!!!! Accompanying awesomeness included:

    a) Going to the light festival in the old city (see pics)

    b) Wandering the streets of Efrat for hours catching up

    c) Pizza, ice cream, sushi, and lots of captain crunch being eaten.

    d) I got to once again make fun of his smelly feet.

2. I got my army issued skirt!! Accompanying awesomeness includes an awesome story:

    a) As of last week, they still had no idea when my skirt would get in ("Its out of our hands!"), so I decided on a new course of action. I convinced them (wasn't very hard, they are getting really sick of me there) to give me the skirts that they had (which are too small on me), then went to the base seamstress and convinced her (this one was a little harder, had to pull out the whole sob story about how Im alone and dont really speak hebrew and keep getting jerked around) to try to somehow make this skirt fit me. It took her an hour and pretty much everyone there was staring in awe as she dismantled this skirt and pulled the scraps together to make a lovely new skirt that fit me. It looks so good she actually made me parade around the office and show everyone. I was excited, she was excited, I pranced back into my office and they were all excited. It was wonderful.

An hour later, they storeroom called me and told me that they had gotten my skirts. I laughed. Pretty sure God was laughing too.

    b) I look awesome.

3. This weekend I experienced a victory for Jewish Feminists in the form of Sivan Gordon's bat mitzvah.

    a) Sivan led a women's mincha (afternoon prayer) service and read from the Torah as well. The men in her family went up to the women's balcony to throw candy (the typical women's job) and Sivan's cousins, sister, mother, grandmother, and aunts did all the usual male jobs involved in the prayer service. 

    b) It is really cool to be that close to the Torah and everything going on in synagogue. 

    c) At the kiddush (meal) afterwards Sivan, her mother, and her grandmother all got up and spoke and it was just so cool to see all the female pride going on for this recently proclaimed Jewish woman. Also, her father was practically exploding with pride. It was adorable. 

4. I got a job! (not in the army)

    a) I am the new part-time, work-from-home, administrative assistant to Choice of the Heart, a new company that offers preventative counselling and runs  workshops for young couples to teach them how to deal with the most common problems that married couples face.

    b) They think Im awesome. So far Im liking them too.

5. I bought a ticket to come visit the states!

    a) I am expected to become an aunt on August 7th :)

    b) So I am landing on August 15th (avoiding all the messy birth part) just in time to help out with all the newborn baby part.

    c) I am now being kept busy in the army by all the paperwork I have to fill out in order to leave the country. (This is awesome because it means I have something to do).

Not for the faint of heart

This was a week for rhetoric. As many of you hopefully know, Israel has been heavily abused by the international media this week in wake of the Gaza Flotilla clash.

A little background: This week six ships tried to break through the Israeli blockade to deliver supplies to the Hamas-run Gaza Strip. They were filled with hundreds of people who called themselves peace activists and insisted that they were bringing much needed humanitarian aid to Gaza. Israel allows hundreds of tons of humanitarian aid supplied by the UN, the Red Cross, and other humanitarian organizations into Gaza, but there are certain items (like fertilizer) that can be used to create weapons that Israel does not let into Gaza. This is the blockade that has been present since Hamas came to power in 2007. Israel repeatedly told these ships that they would not be allowed to dock in Israel, but that they could unload the supplies in Ashdod and Israel would transfer them to the Gaza Strip by land. They refused. Upon nearing the Israeli coast, each ship was asked to stop and then told they would be boarded and towed to an Israeli port when they refused. Five of the six ships were boarded and towed without incident. The sixth ship, the Mavi Marma, was full of Turkish and Pakistani "peace activists" that attacked the Israeli soldiers when they boarded the ship. Using metal poles, knives, and stun grenades they beat and stabbed Israeli Navy soldiers going so far as to throw one overboard. They soldiers were armed with paintguns and prepared for only light resistance. The Turkish passengers are claiming that the soldiers attacked first, but the Israelis say (and the footage supports this) that they were attacked when they tried to board. At some point a passenger grabbed the handgun of one of the soldiers and started firing. The soldiers were given permission to shoot to protect themselves and after about 40 minutes of fighting there were 9 dead passengers and numerous wounded on both sides. 

This all happened at about 2 am on Monday morning and the Israeli soldiers have since been labelled murderers and pirates by the international media. No one seems to care that these "peace activists" attacked the soldiers, or that this seems to have been their plan all along. These passengers were preparing for a fight, were looking to cause a violent encounter and have once again succeeded in their plan to turn international feeling against Israel. 

We knew these ships were coming and most Israelis knew how this story would end. Once again, we would be berated and labelled murderers for trying to protect ourselves. Once again, we found ourselves in a situation where we would be berated for our actions no matter how careful we were. We could not let these ships through the blockade, allowing a port to open up in Gaza for weapons shipments to terrorist organizations. We had no option but to stop these ships, and despite going so far as to arm our soldiers with paint-guns, we are once again accused of violently attacking innocents. 

Please, watch some of the footage and tell me how innocent these activists were.

    - Gaza flotilla footage

    - IDF spokespersons channel

All over Israel people are shouting their support, waving flags and hanging signs to show their support for the army's actions. On base we are watching the footage and reading the news disgusted by the international response. You would think we would be used to it by now, but when things like this happen and the truth is so clear, we do not understand why the international media seems set against us, seems determined to present this story in the worst way possible. We do not understand how, no matter how carefully we tread, we somehow always end up the bad guys. Terrorism we can deal with, but changing international regard for Israel feels like fighting a losing battle. 

I took a teaching class on base this week and part of our final exam included preparing a lesson plan and teaching the class for twenty-minutes. I was understandably nervous about having to teach a group of 20 officers in Hebrew, but as we were allowed to teach on whatever topic interested me, I chose to speak about an area where I have some experience- immigration. I discussed the mass immigrations to Israel and the hardships that immigrants face while trying to be absorbed into Israeli society. I discussed the groups that came to live a better life (Russians and Argentinians), those that ran from persecution (Arab Jews and Ethiopians) and anti-semitism (French), and those that left forward-thinking free countries for idealogical reasons (North Americans). I closed my lesson by stressing the importance of being an active part of our Jewish future, the responsibility that each one of us has to be a part of building a better future for Am Yisrael (the Israeli nation).

Israel was created to be a safe haven for Jews everywhere, but today we need to be more. There are so many divisions among us as a nation, whether it is the religious vs the secular, the religious vs the less or more religious, the liberals vs the conservatives and so on. There are times when I feel that we are so divided and so busy fighting each other that we have forgotten why we are here. Because Israel is more than a sanctuary, it is a home for a nation that has been dispersed for almost two thousand years. And a home is not just a place to sleep. It is a place to connect to your family, to prepare yourself for your future, and to find the strength of self to take on the next day. This past week, Israel has felt like a home, because in the face of adversity, we have put aside our differences and stood up to protect our family. 

Whether you are a zionist or not, a Jew or not, an Israeli or not, I hope that you know what sort of future you are helping build. It is so easy to get caught up in the ups and downs of our personal lives. And it is understandable. My life is my world and the things you might deem insignificant can be life-changing for me. But remember that you are a part of a greater world, and that you have a responsibility, as an individual and as a part of humanity, to be actively working towards creating a better future. 

Whew. Sorry about the intensity. It was that kind of week. Ill bring you some light-hearted humor next time.